I thought this was extremely funny. Found it on CL SF Bay Area
1964 Pontiac GTO Convertible - SOLD - $25000 (scotts valley)
© craigslist - Map data © OpenStreetMap
cylinders: 8 cylinders
paint color: blue
title status: clean
I have an update on this car.
This unicorn has been sold. Having mixed feelings about seeing it drive off. Well I am off to buy my Tesla.
I have a 1964 Pontiac GTO Convertible that I would like to sell.
If you are still reading let me tell you a little about this car. It is the freaking unicorn of muscle cars.
Why, you ask?...
Well if you asked WHY? I probably would not sell this car to you, and tell you to just go buy a Mustang or Camaro.
This car is 95% all original. Wait you ask, what do you mean by that?
I mean that the whole car is 100%, Well 5% of it has been replaced or redone or changed.
To start the tires are bias and 3 are still good. Let me repeat that, It has bias tires with dates from 1970. It was properly stored in a garage when I got it up on jacks. Air was deflated from all the tires. All I did was put he valve screws in and fill them with air to.
It has the 4 T3 headlights that are factory original.
The hubcaps are original. Yes the same ones that were put on the car when it left Fremont are still on it. And they are not dinged or dented up.
The convertible top. Yep you guessed it. Factory original. But the rear window is cracked and needs to needs to be redone. There is no fluid in the lines and I am not sure if the power mechanism is functioning. But it is all there.
Transmission.... well that is the original 2 speed automatic from the factory as well.
How crappy is the interior? The interior looks like a 5 out of 10, BUT Yep you guessed it...All Original. Not cracked. Just faded and brittle.
What about the carpet? Yep it is original, but it needs to be replaced. Looks like the heater core leaked at one time because the area of carpet under the heater core is discolored.
What about the radiator? That is original as well.
Starter and alternator. I can't tell if these are original. I am going to say no. These are not original to the car.
What about the motor? Yes, it has a motor in it, the sn on the motor MATCHES the PHS. Sooooo what I am trying to say is it is orginal. WOW you say... what about the heads? Unfort they are not original to the car. BUT... I have a correct set of 716 heads for the car that could be original to the car, but I can not be 100% sure. I can tell you the date code on the Heads would make them well with in the dates for being installed on the car. They do not have harden seats, they are not cracked or machined.
What about the glass? Like I keep saying , factory original.
The keys? Wait you guessed it Factory original.
Yeah, but is this a real GTO you ask? Do you have a PHS for it? Yes, and Yes, I actually have 2 PHS's for the car. And you have to give me a nickel to look at them because they are so gosh darn special. Naw just kidding..I will let you see the PHS for free in person. You cant have a copy of them and I will not post the vin of the vehicle.
When I ordered the PHS for the car the guy damn near pooed his pants when he ran the numbers. Why you ask? Well to start the car is a freaking GTO. Second it is a convertible. Third it is bad assed no frills unicorn.
Never mind there are only 6600 of these things ever made, this one has a rare rear end, a rare transmission, an electric top, and 325 ponies to let loose on anyone who thinks this car ain't bad assed. Forgot to mention It is not a tripower car. And the carb on it is not the orginal one. BUT I DO HAVE a 64 carb that has been rebuilt for it that is period, date and number correct for the car. It took me a long time to find the carb. But it is correct for the car, Just not original to it.
Brakes? Well you guessed it original. But when I cruise this beast and try to escape the throbs of 70 year old men trying to talk to me about the car and how they had one way back when, the brakes are not cutting it. They should be upgraded to disks to keep the 325 ponies in check. I have almost wrecked in this thing 10 times. I get going and then traffic piles up and slowing this beast down from 90 on these brakes becomes a bit of a problem. It is a heavy car and you have to stomp on the pedal to make it stop.
How many times has this car been painted? Once, yep you guessed it by the factory.
Any dents? yep, you can not hot rod around this thing and keep 325 ponies in check and not get a few dings and dents. It is freaking GTO and does not like to sit still.
How about rust. Sad to say the Trunk pan is shot. It will need to be replaced. 300 dollars from OPG and 400 to install
What about the molding? Factory original. What about the weather stripping? factory original and it will need to be replaced.
Does the car run? I would say it does not run. It freaking flies......... This beast drives down the road like a drunk Carl Lewis. It likes to wobble while passing every god damn thing on the road. It is comfortable going 90 miles down the road and purrrrs like a kitten. And I do drive this thing and we are routinely doing 90 in it. I would have no issue taking this car on a road trip to Tahoe. I actually did a few times.
I believe the car to be racist. It likes to piss gasoline all over the road, and when passing cars..... especially Kraut, and Jap cars it likes to wobble towards them with out any input from me and nudge up against them. I believe in an attempt to scare them . I once parked it next to Mazda RX7 and when I came out the Mazda had a dent in the door and broken passenger side door glass. It also appeared that the GTO attempted to piss on it with gasoline as well. I am not joking.... The Mazda actually had a broken window.....
Why are you selling this thing? So I can buy a Tesla.
How much do you want for this piece of American history? 25,000 dollars
Will you take a trade? If your wife is Emmanuelle Chriqui yes, I will trade you.
Emmanuelle Chriqui is not my wife, What else will you trade for? A P100D Tesla Mode S
Can you move on the price? Only upward.
What if I come with CASH, can i give you 20K? Yep and 5,000 dollars in a check or gold coins.
Look it makes no difference to me if you write me a check, give me a money order, pay me in gold, silver, or Google stock, as long as it adds up to 25,000, And as long as I get 25,000 dollars in my account, you get the pink slip and title.
Can I make payments? Sure why not. But I keep the car and pink slip until I get 25,000 dollars. But you might want to think about getting a Mustang instead.
This car is freaking bad assed. I have to grow my beard out for 2 weeks before I take it out. Otherwise the car just laughs at me and I just look like a sissy driving this fine piece of Fremont, California machinery around.
Look all you need to know is yes the car is a real GTO and yes it is bad assed. But haggling or arguing will just get you a referral to buy a Mustang. This car is 100% bad assed. I actually baptized 2 kids aged 1 and 2 with water that came out of the radiator. As soon as the baptism was done the kids started talking and walking and picking fights with anyone looking German and Asian, and the male kid started dunking basketballs from half court.
In all seriousness the car is pretty sound. It doesn't actually leak gas. And I can not positively say the GTO broke the window.